The Womb

A nine-month investigation into life inside my mommy. Somebody has to know the truth.

Name:
Location: Mommy's tummy

I started as a glint in my parent's eyes. Little did they know what was to come.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Signing Off From Planet Uterus


MhariColor
Originally uploaded by Ken and Robin.
Whew, it's been a darn long time since I had a chance to check in with everybody. But, that's probably because Pesky Cervix (after so much coaxing I wasn't sure if mommy or I would make it) gave in, mommy and I teamed up to push like champs and I finally landed on Planet Earth at 9:33 a.m. Monday, July 25.

It was no easy feat, let me tell you. Mommy, daddy and I went to the hospital on Saturday and it all went crazy from there.

What I sort of suspected, but didn't know for sure, was that the umbilical cord thing that kept me alive for so long was actually wrapped around my neck - twice.

So, every time I took a dive for freedom, I nearly strangled myself - totally scary. That really made me not want to come out.

But, funny doctor lady did that whole induction thing (twice) and finally forced me to make a choice. I chose to give mommy SO much pain that she chose an epidural in the end. Good thing too, because I may not have been able to come out the way I did otherwise. See, baby does know best.

After what seemed like forever, I got to see mommy and daddy Monday morning and we all forgot the trauma that got us to that point.

Now, we are home, I am sleeping, eating and pooping like a champ, and it is time for me to sign off from The Womb.

But, don't think the adventure stops here.

I just decided to set up a new Planet Earth commentary instead.

So, check me out at http://www.mharirhiverson.blogspot.com

This is only the beginning.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Mt. Mommywho-a

It seems like every extra day that I spend in Planet Uterus looks like I've been in here an extra week. Even mommy and daddy's friend Steve Sauers had one of those eye popping moments last night when mommy got a wee bit too close to him and he was forced to blurt out "My God, you are seriously bulging."

The nice people at the store have even gotten to the point where I think they just take pitty on mommy. "Oh, honey, I can't believe you haven't had that baby yet." is the general sentiment, usually backed up with "But you look really good."

Mommy is not so sure about the second one...especially since everyone just seems so darn surprised that I could take up so much space and not really be making my way into the world in a timely sort of manner. I'm totally comfy in here. But, mommy, not so much.

I've really been trying to accomodate them and work my way out of Planet Uterus sooner rather than later. I was totally on board yesterday when we gave some homeopathic labor starters a try. But, Pesky Cervix just won't buy it, apparently has no sentimental attachement to mommy's plight, and just figures that if we are going to force it to do its job on Monday, it's going to be taking a few days vacation beforehand.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Au Naturale

Mommy and daddy have long wanted me to jump out of Planet Uterus in an unmedicated sort of way. And, now that I am nearly 41 weeks into all of this, we're all starting to wonder if "natural" is something we should limit to a 50% possibility since Pesky Cervix is just still only mildly interested in the contraction action.

Slow but steady is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm definitely making progress on my downward journey. But, today was really the first day that even our dooooolas (who are not big fans of rushing the process) said, "Hey, you might want to start trying some stuff."
I like them. They are very smart woman people.

So, we're all heading out this afternoon to collect a few concoctions, tips, learn some pressure points, grab a labor inducing oil or two, and try a few things out. Not all at once, mind you. Mommy and daddy aren't THAT silly. But, we all definitely want to get Pesky Cervix as lubed up and motivated as possible to LET ME OUT before we see most favorite needle doctor lady first thing Monday morning so she can officially kick into overdrive the LETTING ME OUT thing.

Daddy said that it's a good thing all of this is going to happen at the latest by Monday, because from the looks of mommy I am packing on the pounds in here (or maybe it's all those popsicles she's been pounding:)). I do feel remarkably humongous. But, let's not clue mommy into that, OK. She's already having crazy dreaming fits about having an 11-pound Mhari.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

BAHHHH!

Well, Pesky Cervix woke up late yesterday morning, which I thought was perfect since in a perfect universe PC, PU, me and mommy would have worked together for a yesterday arrival. PC worked darn hard all day, gearing up, gearing up and gearing up some more.

By the time we got to the funny lady doctor's place that evening, PC looked like it had finally caved to our pressure and all of us were starting to think I'd be making a run for the door sooner rather than later. Funny doctor lady checked us out and mommy was fully effaced and nearly 3 centimeters dilated, which was some SERIOUS progress.

So, we picked daddy up from the ferry, got some labor snacks, ate some dinner and took a big, giant walk in the hills to check out the big, giant, amazing, totally wowie full moon that lit up San Francisco Bay like magic and to keep Pesky Cervix moving along in a most positive manner.

Of course, the second mommy laid down to grab a quick nap, Pesky Cervix decided to join her.

We woke up about 1:30 in a whole lot of pressure cramping pain, but no PC contraction action...caught up on Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, the sad news about more London bombings and my personal fav - the Tour de Lance Armstrong. Then, finally and totally as usual, everything conked out and we slept for a whopping three hours.

Mommy woke up about 10 this morning figuring she ought to feed us both and it seems Pesky Cervix is awake, but unwilling to move at more than a light walk in the park.

I guess it's all good news that PC is even doing much at all. But, I REALLY want to see and howl at the official full moon tonight. Mommy and I have given up on thinking we can plan for such events.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

So Close, Yet So Far...

Mommy and daddy said that today was the very first date the funny doctor lady gave us for me to be jumping out of Planet Uterus so many moons ago. They moved it and flipped it and shifted it all over the place as I got bigger and longer and more fiesty. But, July 20 was when everyone thought I would be here for a very long time.

Ha. I really have got everyone in a knot with this one...including me actually. When am I coming? No clue.

Yesterday I got to see my buddies Ella, Parker, Zack and Ryan when mommy's friends took us to lunch for her getting old day - which was totally awesome. They slept too much, though. So, I had to keep booting them in the butt every time mommy was holding one of them. What is up with that snoozing OUTSIDE Planet Uterus thing. So much to see and do. I have no plans to sleep that much (much to mommy and daddy's dismay). Everybody is getting so giant so fast out there. Must be the amazing work of the milk-o-the-boob.

After a fun, fun yesterday, mommy said that today is all about the snooze for her. I can't really convince her to do a whole heck of a lot right now, which is totally OK with me since I REALLY should be conserving my strength for the inevitable final moments of PU life.

She said yesterday that listening to all the other mommies talk about their little people jumping out is a little scary, a lot exciting and way whoa. I think the scariest part is nobody knows when or how long or what's going to go on at all. Unknown stuff is mad crazy.

Anyway, we go see funny doctor lady today. Mommy is preparing for the "How can that kid possibly still be in you" comments. I've prepared my own commentary which goes something like: "Mommy is a very good host. Why would I want to leave earlier than I have to?"

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Pancake Cake

Today, mommy and I woke up to a giant pankcake cake, with tons of whipped cream and strawberries and of course mommy's very favorite breakfast food ever - pancakes.

Daddy got up extra early to create this culinary masterpiece in honor of mommy's former life as a youngster. He says she's officially old now. I say AWESOME! Let's hope she stays old forever so they can bring on the pancake cakes. Wahoo!!!

Daddy got mommy this REALLY loud but totally cool thing for her old person's day, which I think is going to be awesome. Mommy says she has to get her "chops" back (whatever those are) before she can start making pretty music again with this thing I think she called a trumpet (apparently, she was not too bad a trumpet girl in her day). But, first thing we're going to do is go find some pretty lullabyes for mommy to play for me. COOOL.

Back to pancake caking.

Mommy said that, if I came today, daddy would make both of us pancake cakes every year at the same time. That is one very appealing offer, let me tell you. But, I don't know about this whole sharing of the tastiest food thing yet. I may want my very own cake creation. I hear my cousin Kyle has some totally awesome cake eating techniques to pass on too. So, we'll see mom. Sorry, I know you think that was potentially one of your strongest arguements for convincing me to jump out of Planet Uterus yet. I'll take it back to Pesky Cervix and see if whipped cream and pancakes is the winner in the dilation challenge.

Speaking of dilation, PC is going to have to do some SERIOUS work no matter what come Monday. Most favorite needle doctor has agreed to do her special bring the baby out technique on mommy first thing that morning. So, I have a feeling that I will see all of you no later than, say, Tuesday or maybe Wednesday.

Maybe daddy will make me my very first own pancake cake that morning too.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Oh, Mommy...You Don't Look So Good

...or sound so good for that matter.

Something happened in the last couple of days that has not left mommy smiling at any level. She's tried...Oh how she has tried to let go of the funky funk funk that has come over her. And, really, it depends on the time of day...but she is ONE MOODY MOMMY. Guess carrying around an 8+pound kid has some not so fun effects.

Mommy tries really hard to just do what she has to do and not blame other things besides her cranky self for the funky. But, this time it's pretty clear that the dreaded estrogen hormones back cramping, feet bloating, got to pee all the time thing is getting the finger pointed right at it. Even I'm not too keen on letting this all go on and on.

But, mommy, I hate to tell you that you're just going to have to find a way to get over it because Pesky Cervix, well, not so cooperative. Besides, you know as well as I do that you need at least one giant lesson in patience. So, take it in stride, woman. The baby is coming, me and PC just aren't going to tell you when.

So, we're officially overdue. Funny doctor lady will be giving us the low down on what we might do on Wednesday...Our favorite needle doctor lady is back this weekend. So, maybe she can help this whole process along...

OK, mommy, one more time...breathe deeply, release the funky, LAUGH A LOT!!!


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